November 29, 2008

Ah, The Progress Chart

I have been trying to make this Christmas especially nice since the French branch of the family are traveling all the way from, well, France. But I was reminded tonight that in the process of multi-tasking, I clean forgot about The Progress Chart - the chart that is displayed prominently on the fridge door each year and marks the state of movement in the nether regions of a particular family member's... nether regions. Some people are prone to traveler's tummy, which I always mistakenly thought referred to upset stomach, diarrhea, possibly even vomiting. But, apparently, it refers to the almost total lack of progress of ingested food through the alimentary canal.
So in a show of support, we post a chart on the fridge and mark each day either with an x or a check. Mostly an x. Well, always an x. And see the sad little person off home at the end of the holiday with best wishes for better luck next year. And never knowing if a plane trip home results in a longer flight time due to a heavier load of cargo because of all the - you know - or if the plane actually stays up better and flies faster with the buoyancy of all the accompanying gas.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You know, Rachael Miranne Dyer of Cunard Street, Halifax, probably doesn't appreciate her intestinal woes being made public.

Rosie Beaucoup said...

First of all, it ISN'T Rachael.
And secondly, are you not the writer, as our dentist pointed out, who gave an interview on CBC radio and told everyone, including potential stalkers, where your sister lived in the city? So much for writers protecting their sources! Hadley.

movita said...

I have been told that I have very good bowel motility. Also, I don't travel at Christmas.

When does Hadley arrive from Toronto?